Welcome to the next installment of Quickstride & Shambler‘s adventure in New Zealand! We missed last week because of some work commitments, and rather than rush something out last week, I took my time getting this one prepared, especially for you. Check out the previous installments to get caught up, and enjoy! If you would like to support the blog, like and share this article, leave a comment, and consider subscribing! If you would like some sweet merch from your favorite bush-league author, check out the shop!
Our next day of adventure on New Zealand’s South Island forced us to get up bright and early once again. The first order of business, breakfast. Jenny and I hit the road about ten minutes after waking up, driving to the local Queenstown Cafe that Jenny had cyber-scouted the night before. The Sun had not fully risen when we parked the camper van and walked into the cafe, but we weren’t the only customers at Side Hustl. A quick pair of espresso drinks and accompanying sandwiches, and we were off again to the second order of business: dumping the waste tanks.
I drove the camper van to a rest stop outside of Te Anau, a small town almost three hours from Queenstown. There, we were able to dump the waste and grey water tanks from the van’s bathroom and shower. From then on, we weren’t able to use the onboard facilities of our camper van until we returned it at the end of our trip the following day. While in Te Anau, we hit the Fiordland National Park visitor’s center, picked up a few more trinkets and souvenirs, and then went on our way to Milford Sound.
There was a bunch of construction traffic on our route, so we ended up having to skip one of our planned stops. Jenny had booked us on a cruise of Milford Sound, and we were already running late. I tried my level best to get us there in time, but the combination of construction, winding roads, and a bunch of rain meant that we pulled into the Milford Sound harbor parking lot just as our reserved tour boat left the dock.
Disappointed, but not discouraged, we made our way to the check-in counter anyway to try to beg our way on the next ship. Luckily for us, the tour company was able to get us on another ship leaving in the next half hour. This tour boat was run by a different company, but the original tour company was happy to change tickets for us, for a nominal fee, of course. Jenny and I swapped our tickets for the new boat, and made our way straight to the docks.
When we got to our designated slip, the tour boat was already loading, and we wasted no time boarding and making our way to the top observation deck. We sat on the metal benches in the center of the deck while the deckhand gave us safety instructions, then the tour guide hopped on the PA system, the engines gurgled to life, and we were off into the fiord.
Apparently, the difference between a “fjord” and a “fiord” is that one is in Scandinavia and the other is in New Zealand. Other than that, they are identical. Fiords/fjords are channels of water carved by glacial activity and surrounded by high, steep cliffs. They typically are deeper than the seas that they spill out into. Milford Sound is the most popular and most visited of New Zealand’s fiords, which meant that we saw more people on our little tour vessel than we had seen all of our trip up to that point.
Milford Sound spills out into the Tasman Sea, and the Captain of our boat intended to bring us as far down the fiord as the pitching, cold sea would allow. Along the way, we trolled close to the high cliffs while the tour guide spouted off facts and trivia about the sights we were seeing. The long into short of it is that the cliffs are really high and the water is really cold and deep. Also, Milford Sound was used as a backdrop for a bunch of movies, not just The Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit movies, but other movies as well.
On our way out, the tour boat hugged the left side of the fiord, and we could see other tour vessels off to our starboard coming back on the right side. I assume the Kiwis chose this arrangement because that is how they drive, but it meant that there wasn’t a whole lot to see aside from high cliffs and deep, grey water until we got to the mouth of the sound.
One stop we did make was to get up as close as we could with some endangered seals that were sunning themselves on some large rocks as best they could on this cloudy day. Apparently these seals, the New Zealand Fur Seals, were hunted nearly to extinction for their fur, meat, and blubber. They have since bounced back to the point they are a relatively common sight, but are still protected by a variety of laws and customs.
There was some light rain as we worked our way to the end of Milford Sound. Eventually, this mixed with the salt-spray of the sea as the waves grew larger and the boat started to pitch. We made it to the mouth of Milford Sound and stared out into the grey expanse of the Tasman Sea.
“Turn left,” the tour guide said over the PA, “and you’ll eventually end up at Antarctica.”
At this point, Jenny and I found ourselves to be the only ones on the upper observation deck. The rest of our friends had determined that the cold air and rough seas were cause for retreat and headed below deck where the crew was serving coffee, hot cocoa, and cookies. Jenny asked if I wanted to go below deck. Hell no I did not. Riding around in a ship through a cold fiord/fjord appeals to the deepest, most Scandinavian parts of me. If only I had a battle axe.
On our way back, we visited a few more seals on rocks and saw a few more waterfalls. Our more thin-skinned friends returned to the upper deck, and the tour boat’s Captain even steered us so close to one of the waterfalls it spilled onto the deck.
We found ourselves back on dry land soon after. Jenny and I visited the ship’s cabin shortly before docking at the pier to avail ourselves of the free coffee and cocoa, then made our way back to the camper van to head to our next destinations. The construction that foiled us earlier in the day continued to foil us, as the road work was blocking one lane of a two-lane tunnel through the mountains. We ended up sitting at the mouth of the tunnel for twenty minutes. That might sound like an exaggeration, but the Kiwis are kind enough to put up signs that display your estimated wait time for such projects.
While stopped, Jenny and I snapped a few more pictures, including catching an example of the World’s only Alpine parrot, the Kea, hop up onto a taxicab, get shooed off, then come waddling over to our campervan at high speed before flying off into the mountains.
Finally on the move, our next stop was a short scenic walk at Mirror Lakes, so named because the calm waters reflect the mountains all around. This was neat, but we were getting hungry, so it was time to move on to our next stop, which I was pretty excited for.
Our next stop was at a place called Monkey Creek. Up until the point we got there, I could have sworn that Jenny said there would be actual monkeys there. I was intrigued. What would a New Zealand Monkey look like? I didn’t even know there were monkeys in New Zealand. It was all very exciting.
Except Monkey Creek is not so named because of the presence of monkeys. It is named after a surveyor’s dog. I was more than a little miffed, and Jenny swore up and down that she told me this heart-rending news in advance. Deeply saddened by the lack of Kiwi Monkeys, we pressed on to the town of Te Anau where we planned to stop for dinner.
With the exception of that days boat tour, Jenny and I hadn’t seen more than a couple dozen people at any given point in time during our trip on the South Island. Most of the stops we had made were popular tourist destinations and attractions, but they didn’t feel crowded. Hell, when we went through Te Anua earlier that day, we barely saw a dozen other vehicles. When we rolled into Te Anua in search of dinner that evening, we were in for some shell-shock.
The town was absolutely packed, especially the small downtown area. We drove around looking for parking, looping around downtown a couple times until we got lucky and snagged another camper van’s spot right as they left. Jenny had cyber scouted ahead and chosen a steak house to try, and we walked over to check in. Two hour wait for walk ins. No matter, Jenny had a secondary. Another two hour wait. The same at the tertiary choice.
We walked all over Te Anua’s tiny downtown, and the only restaurant that didn’t have a line was a Subway sandwich shop. Yes, that Subway, the one that used to have five-dollar footlongs. You can’t go all the way to Te Anua and go to a damned Subway.
Finally, we made our way past a little Italian restaurant that didn’t have much of a line. We checked in with the hostess, and she told us it would only be a twenty minute wait. Good enough for us.
Ristorante Pizzeria Paradiso ended up being one of those happy little accidents that happen while you’re out exploring the world. Your best laid plans get demolished by a tourist rush in a town you’re unfamiliar with, and your only option is to just hope for the best with the first thing you find. The pizza we had was delightful, woodfired and covered in fresh ingredients. Who knows/cares how authentic it was, it was delectable.
With food in our bellies, Jenny and I made our way back to the camper van. We had one more night in the van before we were scheduled to turn it in with the rental company. We reached our final camping destination, Kingston Lake Campground, well after dark. I parked us in the first acceptable spot I could find, realized I parked us on a slight incline, realized I was too tired to care, and conked out for the night.
Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed this installment. Where have you gone that was outside your original plans, but ended up being a complete success? Let me know down below!