Happy May 4th and welcome to the seventh installment of the Round 3 series. You can get caught up on the series starting with number one here and moving up from there. Also, for May the Fourth only, use promo code SHOVENERDS in the shop to get a discount and an extra dosing of gratitude with any order!
One of the many benefits of being a Contracting Officer in the Air Force was the ability to head out into the local area and conduct “Commercial Reconnaissance” of the businesses. The 332d was located out in what passes for wilderness in a mostly desert country, so driving into the Capitol took at least an hour. Despite the drive, we took as many opportunities to get out and about in the Capitol as presented themselves.
The 332d’s Host Nation was an interesting country. Nowhere near as gilded as some of its regional cousins such as Qatar, the United Arab Emirates, or even Kuwait, but full of rich history and culture. I found it to be a study in contradictions. Compared to its immediate neighbors the Host Nation was still successful, but seasoned with some helplessness and despair. There were nice parts of the Host Nation, but most parts of the country were rundown, dusty, and rife with unemployment.
Our Host Nation’s was surrounded by legitimate failed states, countries whose government and society had collapsed into tribal warfare and citizens just struggling to survive. A small portion of their neighbors were either on their way towards becoming failed states, or desperately clawing their way back to stability. Only one other country near the Host Nation could have even been referred to in the same sentence as the word “stable,” and only in comparison to everything else. For instance, “The Host Nation and this one particular neighbor are pretty stable, compared to the rest of Southwest Asia.”
Even though the Host Nation was considered “stable,” the high level of poverty and unemployment meant that some less-than-friendly attitudes existed throughout the country. These attitudes were especially prominent in areas where the considerable number of American contracts and dollars didn’t reach regularly, or areas where refugees from more war-torn regions gathered. We received regular security briefings in order to travel off base, mostly to tell us the same thing every time: The Host Nation is mostly okay, but stay away from certain areas, don’t travel alone, and if someone speaking Russian or Chinese asks to borrow your phone, don’t give it to them. Pretty basic counterintelligence stuff.
Largely due to the proximity of these failed and failing states, and the extremist attitudes that cropped up in poverty stricken areas, the Host Nation was basically a police state. We were warned not to take pictures of certain buildings, and as such I ended up not taking many on our trips downtown. That and I was often driving the 332 ECONS’s F-150 with the skill that three deployments worth of driving in the Middle East gives you. The trick is to drive just fast enough to not draw any attention, but not so fast that you stand out or are in danger of losing control. Also, watch out for the unmarked speed bumps and massive potholes just all over the road. And the Semis pulling flatbed trailers loaded with (unsecured) rocks driving everywhere and passing each other regardless of traffic. And the people just walking on the road. And the stray dogs. The list of things to watch out for is long and distressing if you think about it to much.
This societal dynamic (and the general Road Warrior-esque attitude of the highways) made trips into the capital all the more interesting. One moment, we would be blaring along the freeway, weaving between beat up Kia compacts and brand new Mercedes SUVs alike. The next moment we were slowly snaking our way through a crowded alleyway surrounded by beat up houses. Then we would suddenly be in an affluent neighborhood with trees and grass. It was all very strange.
I have travelled all over the Middle East throughout the years, and one thing I have observed that seems to hold true for all countries across the region is that they love their malls. Huge, elaborate malls that seem out of place in an increasingly digital world. In the United States, many of our malls are falling into disrepair as we turn towards ordering everything online. In the Middle East though, the malls are truly something to behold.
Our Host Nation was no exception, and the mall we most frequented was huge and full of familiar and unfamiliar stores and restaurants. What was different about this mall was the people. In some of the other malls in other countries around the region, it was pretty obvious who was a foreigner and who was a local. The local men and (especially) the local women in other countries often wore traditional garb. White robes for the men, usually black robes and covered heads and faces for the women. In the Host Nation, there were still a few people who wore traditional dress, however, it was not uncommon to see decidedly “Western” manners of dress. It was a little surreal to see a woman in a full burqa riding an escalator and chatting with another woman wearing high-heels, shorts and a tank top.
While many of our trips to the Capital took us to some mall or another to procure whatever the 332d needed, we also frequented some of the smaller local businesses. Most prominently in my memory was a winding street lined with stores that sold a bunch of decidedly not-Halal products: Pork and Booze. General Order Number One meant that we shouldn’t buy any booze while downtown without express permission from the General, but whenever we needed a pork shoulder, ham, or other meat to throw on our Pit Boss, we would head to this area to shop.
Aside from the stores, there was one spot I spent way more time than I had anticipated: the Hospital. Unfortunately, after about a month of being in country, Joe came down with some mysterious disease. The 332d’s clinic wasn’t staffed to handle this particular brand of illness, so Joe was shipped off to a previously surveyed and cleared Hospital in the Capital for treatment. I went to visit Joe a couple times during his stay, mostly to bring him decent food, and holy crap was that a culture shock.
First and foremost: You can smoke cigarettes in the Hospital. If you are used to the sterile nature of an American hospital or clinic, the smell and crowded hustle and bustle of this Hospital would shock you. If you’re like me, you would be even more shocked when you are standing there, talking to your friend who you are very much worried about because if he has to get sent home they might send out someone crappy to take his place and that would suck because his illness is clearly all about me and why would he be so selfish as to contract this infection can’t he see how this effects me and then suddenly there is cigarette smoke coming through the vents.
At first my brain didn’t register it, surely the scent of cigarettes is emanating through the open window from someone smoking outside. Then I realized there was a faint wisp of smoke coming out of the air conditioning vent, and all of us visiting Joe were smelling the same thing. When I poked my head out and looked down the hallway I located the source of the cigarette smoke: The Doctor was having a quick dart at the Nurse’s station just a few feet from our door.
Joe was eventually released from the hospital after a not-brief-enough stay. I won’t tell his story for him, but the parts that I heard and experienced for myself made it sound like the least healing hospital in the world. Getting woken up every couple hours, being forgotten when the meals were brought around, nurses just absolutely mangling veins while trying to insert I.V.s. You get the picture. We were very happy to get Joe back to the 332d ECONS, and more or less in one piece and healthy.
The 332d’s Host Nation is full of rich culture, more authentically their own than most other Middle Eastern countries, but it is also filled with idiosyncrasies that feel strange and out of place for even a well-travelled foreigner. Short skirts and burqas, doctors smoking cigarettes in the hospital, cats and dogs living together (mass hysteria), and a general disregard for human life while driving all combine to make a very interesting landscape.
If I was to recommend tourist destinations in the Middle East that are off the beaten path, I think I would still recommend Oman during the Khareef over the Host Nation, especially the area around Capitol, but I was able to find an almost unhinged charm to visiting the Capitol during our many trips into the city.
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